What Is This Thing? Tinto de Sol Calimocho

Welcome to the first installment of What Is This Thing?, in which we try odd bottles from the periphery of the world of wine. Today I’m tasting Tinto de Sol Calimocho. Is it wine? The label helpfully describes it as an “aromatized wine-product cocktail.” So, yes? Let’s get into it!

Calimocho (also spelled Kalimoxto) is a mix of red wine and cola that originated in the Basque region of Spain. Often consumed by young people, the cocktail has spread around the world and is known by various names including “Jesus juice” in Argentina and jote (“black vulture”) in Chile.

Calimocho was probably first invented as a way to conceal the taste of soured or inferior red wine. However, classier variations do exist. I first heard about the drink from a banquet captain at one of Dallas’s most famous steakhouses, who once mixed–on request–expensive Napa Merlot with Coke for a room full of well-paying tourists. In any case, nearly everyone agrees that Coca-Cola Classic is the best mixer for Calimocho. (Preferably the non-US formulas that don’t use high fructose corn syrup.)

Now, onto the wine (?). I obtained my little bottle of Tinto de Sol from the Costco Wine Adventure calendar, which I reviewed about a month ago. It’s made and bottled by Real Cave do Cedro of Barraida, Portugal–whose website divides their products into “DOC Wines” and “Cool Wines.” It seems they produce both “serious” red and white blends, and snappy, single-serve wine cocktails for the youth market.

There’s nothing DOC-compliant about Calimocho, so I’m reckoning it qualifies as one of the “cool” wines. The label text (which is definitely not AI generated) gushes, “This aromatized wine-product cocktail is a sublime duo of red wine and cola with the power of keeping us in a world of iconic flavourous moments while pushing us to try new and fantastic combinations!” Okay then, let’s get flavourous!

In the glass, it’s a fairly disturbing bright cranberry red color. Alcohol is a modest 5.5% ABV. There are a few bubbles–just enough to leave a small, foamy streak at the rim. I’m not sure if it’s intended to have such a slight fizz or if it’s due to a packaging failure. The nose is medicinal and fruit candy-like, similar to a cough drop.

Taking a sip, it tastes almost like a red cherry soda–not like a Cherry Fanta, but one of those artisanal cherry sodas in a glass bottle that’s made by white dudes with beards. The herbal, aromatic bitterness is more prominent than the taste of red wine. There’s barely any discernible tannins. It’s not terribly sweet, but there’s an artificial sugar-y flavor, like aspartame or confectioners sugar. It ends on a literal sour note–like sangria after all the ice cubes have melted.

It’s bad. (I pour a sip for my wife for confirmation. “This is bad, right?” It’s bad.) If I was going to compare it to anything, I’d say it’s like sipping a watered-down, slightly carbonated sweet red vermouth. Placed on a scale with similar beverages, it ranks somewhere between the worst Lambrusco I’ve ever tasted and the best cherry-flavored hard seltzer. Would I buy this bottle? Never. Would I drink it over ice on a hot summer day if someone served it to me? Eh, probably.

Unfortunately, there’s not much cola taste in Tinto de Sol. Which leaves me still wondering what a proper red wine and cola tastes like. I could see how the complex flavors of cola could be a natural partner to wine, and how the extra acidity and fizz might pep up an otherwise bland bottom-shelf Tempranillo. I was excited to try my first Calimocho, but this bottled version fell short. Unless you believe that wine cocktails are heresy (a popular stance, but wrong), you may just have to get a bottle of Coca-Cola and mix up your own.

See more What Is This Thing? taste tests on The Wine Fairy blog.