A savage wine review is a delightful thing. I run across them most often on Reddit. Usually it’s written by someone who doesn’t like wine very much–and often, by someone who has resorted to drinking wine after running out of hard liquor.
“Chewed raisins,” “prison toilet hooch,” “liquid vanilla candle.” (Or my new favorite natural wine descriptor, “kombucha’s angry cousin.”) These are evocative, vivid turns of phrase. But you will never see such sublime poetry in Wine Spectator, or even on most independent wine blogs. This is because:
1. Most modern wines are actually pretty drinkable.
2. Wine lovers tend to understand that all wine is the miracle baby of Nature and Science, and that it is made by humans with actual feelings.
3. Wine writers (be honest, y’all) enjoy getting samples and comps and tasting invitations from time to time. Naturally, that’s way less likely if you’re in the habit of brutalizing the wines you write about.
I’m like most wine writers–that is, loath to truly roast a wine. I prefer to approach each glass with an open mind and a generous heart. Assuming best intentions, being humble in my taste and measured in my criticism. Finding something nice to say about everything, or shutting up.
But boy, oh boy–I love a good pan as much as the next person. And this wine, lucky number #13, the Costco advent calendar Pinot Noir, is a special case.
The Label
From the producer: “Latitude 44 is a round and well-structured Pinot Noir from France with soft tannins that lead to a smooth, lingering finish. It presents a harmonious blend of red and dark fruit flavor, accented by subtle spice notes.”
The Tasting
A sour and medicinal nose, like an unhealthy combination of cherry cough drops and bile. Plum jam and earth, overshadowed by an artificial, cookie-frosting vanilla taste. (Wife: “Where did you find this? The dumpster??”) Medium acidity, body, and alcohol (13%). Some residual sugar here, too…although it’s really not to blame for the wine’s cloying flavor.
Stripped of any Pinot Noir character, it’s impossible to identify this messy, mushy liquid as anything other than red wine. It ends mercifully short, with a grape-y, cherry-candy aftertaste.
Wine blogger Niall Rush writes, “Bad Pinot Noir magnifies all of wine’s potential sins and grotesqueries. The vegetal and under-ripe becomes unbearable; the overripe and jammy becomes sickening.” It’s true–and this bottle deserves its own pedestal in the “Jammy” gallery of abominations. It proves the adage that Pinot Noir can be good or cheap, but not both.
After dutifully tasting this wine for the blog, I poured it down the drain and switched to Fino freakin’ Sherry left over from a fortified wine class. Which is nuts, because even the good Fino kind of tastes like sourdough starter mixed with nail polish remover…but I’m still willing to try and learn to acquire a taste for it, because it’s a historic world style that has its respectable admirers. That’s not the case with Latitude 44 Pinot Noir, a wine that nobody should ever learn to like.
Wine: Latitude 44 Pinot Noir (2024) – France
Costco Wine Advent-ure Calendar Number: 13
Grade: D
Finish the bottle? Nooooo.
I’m tasting all 24 wines in the 2025 Costco Wine Advent-ure calendar! See previous reviews here.
Review disclosure: I was not compensated or provided any free products for this review. (In case that wasn’t obvious this time–heh heh!) Opinions expressed on The Wine Fairy blog are entirely my own.
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