Last month, we published an article about how not to look like a dumbass when ordering wine at a restaurant. Today, we’re looking at the other side of the transaction–the server’s side.
Dining room and bar service is a complex art. There are countless ways to mess up the deceptively simple act of selling wine. Here’s a list of 75 common peeves and pitfalls that wine waiters and bartenders should keep in mind:
1. Handle stemware by the stem and not the rim of the glass. I don’t know where your hands have been.
2. Check the wine glasses for lipstick, please. One trip through the dishwasher is not enough to remove the greasiest formulas of lip color. Sometimes two is not enough, either. Wipe clean with a towel and run that glass again, then repeat as necessary.
3. White wines are served chilled (but not icy cold). Red wines are served at cellar temp (but not too warm).
4. However! Guest preference overrides all rules about temperature. (“Yes, ma’am–I’ll be right back with some ice for your Cabernet.”) The same goes for any rules you may know about pairing wine with food.
5. Err on the side of generosity. Slight over-pouring is acceptable. Slight under-pouring is not.
6. Remove wine glasses from place settings that are not being used. Empty glasses are a top-heavy breakage hazard, and non-drinkers and dieters may not want to be reminded that they aren’t partaking.
7. Polish wine glasses only with a lint-free and odor-free cloth.
8. Wine glasses should never smell like detergent or bleach–run an extra rinse cycle if there’s any lingering odors of cleaning chemicals.
9. Be willing to make a wine recommendation, but don’t get butt-hurt if I don’t take it.
10. If there is a happy hour or brunch drink special available, offer it before I order. Don’t make me beg for the “secret” menu.
11. If I change wines, bring a fresh glass. (Exception: Casual tastings where all the wines are fairly similar in style and color.)
12. It’s called the house red and water. Not “just the house red?” and “only water?”
13. Don’t correct a guest’s pronunciation of a wine (unless they ask). Some people want to learn, some people just want to drink.
14. Don’t serve wine in a glass that’s still hot from the dishwasher. Tell your cheap-ass boss to order more stemware, or pop it in the reach-in and wait for a few minutes.
15. No strong perfume or aftershave, please. No scented hand lotion.
16. Fancy stemware is not required, but don’t be one of those precious farmhouse-y or fake Tuscan-villa places that serves the wine in clunky juice glasses.
17. Servers, familiarize yourself with at least the basics of your restaurant’s wine list. The main regions, the main grapes. Taste a couple of wines from each section and memorize a couple of talking points for each of them.
18. If you personally don’t drink alcohol, don’t say so in front of a guest.
19. If you don’t like wine or don’t know much about wine, don’t say that either.
20. Always serve water with (or before) the wine, especially if the food is rich or spicy or the weather is hot.
21. If the first wine I pick is out of stock, no biggie. If my second-choice wine is out of stock, that’s kind of annoying. If you know that a large portion of your printed wine list is out of stock, just tell me what you do have.
22. I don’t really care if you substitute a vintage, but never make any other substitution without asking. (Obviously, don’t substitute vintages for rare or collectible wines.)
23. Flat sparkling wines, stale wines, oxidized wines–don’t serve a wine that you wouldn’t drink yourself. Look and sniff and open a new bottle if there’s any doubt.
24. Don’t overwhelm your guests with information. A simple recommendation or two–plus a comment that shows you’ve listened to their questions and/or preferences–is perfect.
25. It’s awesome if you can recommend a wine that isn’t on every wine list in town, or that complements your restaurant’s food (e.g. a Tuscan wine with Tuscan dishes). Don’t just say, “Oh yeah, the Federalist Cab is super popular.” That’s for the people who have no idea what they want to drink.
26. If I indicate that I’m interested in a certain wine, don’t immediately recommend a different wine that costs twice as much.
27. If you don’t know the answer to a diner’s question, say so. Then say that you’re going to go find out.
28. Fumbling with the bottle at the table doesn’t inspire confidence. It’s good form to open a bottle in front of the guest–but opening it in the bar or kitchen is preferable to dropping the bottle, squeezing it between your thighs, or hitting someone in the face with a flying cork.
29. On that note, don’t make the guest open their own bottle! (This has happened to me a couple of times since the great Food and Beverage Staff Turnover Event of 2020-21.) If you’re scared of a corkscrew or don’t know how to use it yet, get a colleague to open the wine. Then practice.
30. Don’t approach a table with another table’s dirty dishes or glassware.
31. Don’t discuss price with a party’s host, ever. “Will it be one check?” or “Would you like to order any wine for the table?” are acceptable questions. “How much are you looking to spend?” and “Is everybody on their own for drinks?” are not. Instead, huddle with the host over the wine list and take a cue from their behavior.
32. I cringe when waiters swear…and I’m a fucking millennial.
33. Don’t bad-mouth any of your restaurant’s wines. Everything on the menu is either good, better, or best.
34. Bugs and foreign objects in the wine require a fresh glass immediately (duh). Exception: If someone is dining on the patio they should know what they’re getting into. Offer them coasters to cover their glasses between sips.
35. A bottle of wine is usually served with at least two glasses. A solo diner can decline the extra glass–or they may appreciate the gesture, so they don’t look like a sad lonely wino.
36. If I order a bottle of white, sparkling, or rosé, offer a way to keep it chilled during the meal (bar fridge or ice bucket). Some diners are fine with letting the bottle slowly warm up to release different aromas…but at least offer.
37. Bring all the wines and cocktails at the same time. If all the drinks aren’t ready, then none of them are ready.
38. No wine snobbery. Napa is not better than Sonoma, France is not better than Spain, dry wines are not better than sweet wines. Use your knowledge, but remember that everything in wine is a matter of taste.
39. Wine crystals are not cool, don’t try and convince me that they are.
40. No auctioning drinks or food. Take notes. (However, if diners are sharing or switching places at the table, the game’s now on hard mode and you’re not obligated to play. They can pass the plates/glasses to each other or speak up about who gets what.)
41. Don’t pressure me to order my entrée until you’ve brought the wine and the first course. I don’t want to watch my steak getting cold on the table or languishing in the window while I’m taking the first sips of my Sauvignon Blanc.
42. Don’t spray a big cloud of cleaner on a table right next to people who are enjoying wine. Use sanitizing wipes or wait.
43. Keep your menu prices up-to-date and synced with your point-of-sale system.
44. Present the label before opening the bottle. Mix-ups do happen–and if you don’t check with the diner and you pour the wrong wine, that’s on you.
45. Offer to decant old wines and wines with sediment. Ditto if you shred the cork while opening the bottle.
46. The wine that a guest selects is always an excellent choice. Seriously, ordering wine can be stressful…a little praise and encouragement is in order. (Exception: If a guest chooses a truly abominable wine–one that shouldn’t be on the menu at all, but the boss insists–find a way to signal that fact and offer an alternative. Or just always be “mysteriously” out.)
47. The person who ordered the wine gets to sniff/taste it before the glasses are poured. They’re allowed to delegate this job to someone else–a picky partner, or a dining companion who knows more about wine. But offer the sample pour to the person who chose the bottle.
48. If the guest says the wine is corked, it’s corked. There is indeed (sigh) a strong possibility they don’t know what they’re talking about, but you don’t get to argue. Let the manager deal with it.
49. Pour wine with the label facing the guest.
50. On service order: Old-school etiquette dictates that ladies and old people are offered wine first. A few very traditional fine-dining places still do it this way. The more modern practice is to start with the person on the host’s left (regardless of gender) and serve everybody clockwise, ending with host.
51. Don’t pour the final glass from a bottle without asking. It makes the diners feel rushed. And anyway, some tables are saving that last pour for a certain person–like the guest of honor, someone who’s not driving, or the person who liked the wine the most.
52. Corkage fees should be prominently printed on the menu. If they’re not (for whatever reason), it’s the server’s job to inform the diner when they bust out their BYOB bottle. While you’re at it, disclose all service charges on the menu, too–nobody likes surprises on their bill.
53. Champagne corks should gently hiss, not fly.
54. If the house wine is out of stock, any comparable wine is fine. Whatever you pick, I get it at the house wine price.
55. Don’t abscond with the cork. (Foil and wire cages, however, go with you when you leave the table.)
56. Open screw-cap bottles with no less courtesy and solemnity than you would display with any other normal wine. No snickering. Screw caps aren’t presented like corks, but they may be left discreetly next to the bottle or ice bucket in case the diner doesn’t finish the bottle.
57. If the guests will be pouring their own refills, place the bottle within their easy reach. If it’s a fancier place where the waiter pours, place it several inches from the edge of the table and refill when the glass is half-full or less.
58. Very expensive/rare bottles deserve extra ceremony–decanter, balloon glasses, oohs and aahs.
59. Don’t overfill the glasses. Wine needs room to breathe.
60. Never run out of wine while going around the table. Some servers do this to try to goad the party into buying another bottle, and it’s just tacky. If the host orders one bottle for 10 people, that’s his problem. Hopefully he’ll get a clue when everyone has one centimeter of wine in their glass.
61. Don’t just kiss up to the person who’s paying. Treat everyone like they’re worthy of good service and waiter-ly charm.
62. If you don’t have good aim, it’s okay to pick up the glasses to fill or refill them.
63. “Is the wine okay?” implies that you think there might be something wrong with the wine. Find another way to ask if a guest likes the wine.
64. Service should be as cheerful and professional at the end of the meal as it was at the beginning of the meal.
65. Accidents are a fact of life, especially when drinking is involved. Deal with spilled wine and broken glasses calmly and quickly. If management permits it, the best practice is to replace the drink for the guest.
66. Never complain about co-workers in front of guests. If the bar is behind, if the bartender sucks ass, still the only correct comment is “I apologize–the bar is working very hard to get your drinks out.”
67. Don’t wait until I’ve finished the wine to ask if I want another glass, and don’t do it while I’m on my second sip, either. The optimal time to check for drink refills is when the glass is about 1/3 full.
68. Don’t refuse reasonable requests. If a guest wants some seltzer to mix with their wine, for instance–or asks for a decanter for a wine that isn’t usually decanted–then provide it if you can.
69. No drink-shaming. Monday and Tuesday are some people’s weekend! There’s no need to get salty just because someone’s on their fourth glass. That being said, if a guest has been over-served, offer them some water or food and ask a manager or colleague to help keep an eye on them until they can leave safely.
70. If you took the wine list off the table during the meal, offer to bring it again for the final course. (Bonus points to places with a short menu of recommended wines and liqueurs for dessert.)
71. Serve dessert wines and fortified wines in appropriately sized glasses…unless you really want to deal with a guest who just finished an 8-oz pour of Port.
72. If you’re really into wine, it’s okay to chat us up about your favorite styles and regions. Wine nerds dig it! Most of us enjoy hearing recommendations and industry news in small doses. Just don’t start with a long-ass, one-sided story about your trip to Paso Robles.
73. Don’t discuss the tip, ever. This includes hovering over the electronic tablet with puppy eyes or asking if the diners “want any change.” Just bring the change.
74. If the diner is taking unfinished wine home with them (not legal everywhere, but it’s common here in Texas), check that the cork/cap is secure and offer a to-go bag.
75. Drop off the check after the meal and clear the plates–but leave the empty bottle. Many diners want a souvenir or at least a photo of a wine they enjoyed.
Well, there you have it! Seventy-five ways to screw up (or conversely, to improve) wine service at a restaurant or bar. If I’ve come off a bit harsh, it’s only because I love wine and food, and I recognize that hospitality is at the very core of the pleasure of dining.
I’m sure we’ve all noticed that restaurant service has gotten drastically worse over the last few years. Food and labor costs have stretched businesses to a breaking point, and a lot of veteran servers had to leave the industry during the pandemic and never came back. Now, there is so much side work and so much upsell pressure on servers, usually at the expense of service basics. All of these factors have made competent dining-room service a rare and precious experience.
As someone who’s spent plenty of time both serving and eating, I believe a little empathy is in order for workers and customers alike. You never know if someone’s dinner date is just another weeknight meal or a once-in-a-blue-moon treat. So for the love of Bacchus, be patient–and watch where you aim that cork!
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