Wine trends come, wine trends go. But grumpy listicles (like this one) are forever. Which recent wine trends are truly bad, which are merely overexposed, and which are we picking on just to get some easy contrarian clickthroughs? Time to get grumpy and hurt some feelings! Let’s go!
Wine Trend I Can Do Without #1: Sancerre
Every bartender I know is tired of Sancerre. Not the Loire Valley wine itself, which can be elegant and subtle and refreshing, but the whole idea of Sancerre.
Rude or clueless patrons insisting on Sancerre because they heard it’s the drink of the moment. Restaurants rushing to add a Sancerre to their menu, or scrambling to mark it up just so they can keep it in stock. Worthy Loire whites being overlooked because they don’t have the Sancerre appellation on their labels. And Sancerre puns. Oh, good lord, the Sancerre puns–I’m Sancerre-ly over it. Let’s just call out Sancerre what it is (or what it’s become in this moment, anyway): Overpriced, often unremarkable Sauvignon Blanc.
Also, as if you needed any more reason to be annoyed with Sancerre, it’s the favorite tipple of trans-bashing and dog-abandoning Texas Senator Ted Cruz, as revealed in this dishy Slate article from 2021 about the dining habits of D.C. insiders. But Ted’s reportedly a good tipper, so at least that’s something.
Wine Trend I Can Do Without #2: Orange Wine
Does anybody really like orange wine? Or do they just feel that they should? The orange wine trend–it’s like white wine, but with skin contact (Skin contact! Sexy, right?)–never really made it to menus and wine lists in my area. But on recent trips to New York City and California it seemed like it was everywhere.
I’ve tried a few orange wines–admittedly, not a whole lot. I don’t have an aversion either to tannins in white wine or oxidized flavors, but so far every one has tasted kind of like a light rosé that’s been open too long. I’ll drink it…but I’ll drink nearly any wine so that’s not high praise.
Wine Trend I Can Do Without #3: Bourbon Barrel Aged Wine
The first one I ever tried was revelatory. Bourbon and wine–two of my favorite things in one glass! (I think it was Firebrand Red Blend.) I’m a total sucker for big, thick, high-alcohol and intensely tannic wines. Bourbon-barrel aging seemed like a brilliant hack for adding smoothness and a little smokiness to your average California zin bomb. They seemed like a nimble way to bridge the gap between dinner and after-dinner…an ideal dessert wine for people who don’t like dessert wines.
A few years down the road, I realized that I keep buying bourbon-barrel wines and never get around to serving or drinking them. They just hang out in my wine rack, in case I’m ever in the mood for something over-oaked, sugary, and not that easy to pair with food.
Wine Trend I Can Do Without #4: “Lost” Grapes
This is something I’ve been seeing on more and more wine labels: “X” forgotten variety, grown for centuries in “Y” small region, brought to you now in our “Z” heritage wine. Fine, fine. However: Just because a wine grape is old and historic doesn’t mean it’s good. Just because you can (with skill and luck) make a good wine with a crummy grapes doesn’t make it better than a good wine made with a good grape. Just because you can “resurrect” an out-of-favor variety doesn’t mean you need to.
I’ll admit it it–I do get a little flutter in my heart when I try a new wine made from a rediscovered variety. It’s romantic! But novelty can’t be the only selling point. Cabernet Sauvignon, Chardonnay, Grenache, Sauvignon Blanc…the classics are classics for a reason. Good yields, adaptable to terroir, blendable, consistent. Sometimes you taste a “lost” wine that really moves you with more than just its story. The rest of the time, it’s more like, “huh, single-varietal Carménère, yeah I tried it, it’s alright.”
Wine Trend I Can Do Without #5: Pointless Wine Gifts
I don’t actually know what this year’s trendy wine gift is–although it’d be easy enough to suss out, just scroll through some holiday gift guides–but I’m already tired of it. (Updated: Turns out it’s the $90 Stanley wine tumbler set. Of course it is. Because it’s been 2024 for eleven months now, and absolutely nobody’s tired of hearing about Stanley tumblers yet.)
My wife and I have this little joke: If you embark on a new hobby or passion as an adult, you’d better make sure you really like it before you tell anyone–or it will define all your future birthday and holiday gifts. If you say you like turtles, your house will fill up with turtle mugs, turtle shirts, turtle spoon rests, turtle plushies. If you played golf twice and liked it okay, too bad: Golf-themed shit for the rest of your life.
The reasons for this are pretty simple: Adults are hard to buy gifts for. Most adults with disposable income have already bought everything they really need, and quite a few things that they want. That leaves two classes of gifts for the adults in your life: Things they don’t need, and things they didn’t know they wanted (because they didn’t know the thing existed).
Enter the pointless wine gift: Wine glass charms, bottle-shaped charcuterie boards (gross, wood is porous–just a use a plate) and kitchen towels that say things like “I’m not a Wino, I’m a Wine Yes!” Wine stoppers with baubles in them, countertop wine openers, wine chillers, foil cutters, dried fruits and spices to mix with wine, “dog wine” (broth), “cat wine,” cork jars, cork art, glass bottle art, barrel stave art, and on and on. I live near Grapevine, Texas which has a lot of wine tasting rooms, and there are at least eight gift shops stacked from floor to rafter with this crap to supply the demand.
Well, that about wraps up my rant! By the way, if any friends or relatives have heard that I’m into wine and want to buy me something, here are the wine-themed gifts that I appreciate the most: A medium-quality waiter’s corkscrew or two (to replace the ones I’m always losing while camping), wine books, and wine. And if you really want to do me a favor, get over here and help me drink some of this bourbon barrel Zinfandel.
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